January 2, 2014

Team Ice Cream's Playoff Players

Alright people, Team Ice Cream here. I've been pretty bummed out after losing my 2nd championship match against James and the Loungers, but now I'm here in another fantasy challenge to reclaim some lost pride. Playoffs!? You're talkin about Playoffs!? Playoffs!?

QB Tom Brady
QB Philip Rivers
WR AJ Green
WR Demaryius Thomas
WR Michael Crabtree
RB Jamaal Charles
RB Marshawn Lynch
TE Jimmy Graham
FLEX LeSean McCoy
FLEX Eddie Lacy
K Adam Vinatieri

Alright, when I first started this I was looking at which teams had the least amount of "impact" players. Next I wanted the teams with the best chance of survival (obviously). Lastly, of course, was match-ups. (Non-PPR was on my mind, but minimally. Only when deciding final decisions)

So first off, the Pats and the Colts are much more "team oriented" offenses than the others. Containing very few (if any) STUDS with solid value, these teams were gonna cause problems. No big names or big play ability limits your options. I figured you can really only use the following players from these teams; Brady, Luck, Ghost, Vinatieri, Hilton?, MAYBE Edelman... and if you're REALLY feeling dangerous, a NE RB!? (terrifying). This pretty much forced me to choose a K and QB from each of these teams. I figure the kickers are almost a wash (we still love you Adam V!), so which QB did I want more? Easy decision, Tom "Mother-Fuckin" Brady baby! You know they're makin it to AT LEAST the AFC Championship and not via Rex Ryan's "ground and pound".

Once those teams were out of the way, I went to the teams with the NO BRAINER button.

Kansas City? If you picked ANYONE but Jamaal Charles you have shit for brains. This team has NOTHING else to offer except a Defense that could potentially score 25 points (This isn't even a factor when JCKC could have another 5 TD's for 1,000,000 points).

Cincinnati? Hahahaha good one. Press the GREEN button and let's move on.

Carolina? It's either SuperCam or the DEF, PERIOD. Greg Olsen? Really? In this format? NON-PPR? GTFO of here with that noise. I haven't been impressed with Cam in a fantasy aspect this year, so I went with the DEF who is totally legit. I have a feeling it's gonna be Cam vs Brees for the 3rd time in 6 weeks and Cam wasn't very good in those other 2 games.

New Orleans? Again, 2 options. Brees or Graham. Fuck any of the RB's or WR's on this team. All too inconsistent. Ups and downs based on game plan, score, etc. Considering I already grabbed a QB from the "team" teams, I went with, you know, the most dominant player at his position this year... Jimmy "the almost garrett" Graham. (In case you're not a follower, Garrett Graham lost me a HUGE bet this year and will almost certainly hinder my 2014 Dirty D chances, so I'm a little sour) I totally understand a Brees pick here though. Dude's finna win the first week and most likely make it to the NFC Ship', so you know he'll be slinging it all over the place. Fuck that though, I'll take a different QB and rock the top dog TE till I die.

Seattle? Not AS easy as the previous choices, but still pretty simple. 3 options; Lynch, Wilson, or the DEF. You gotta figure that they're making it all the way to the ship, so rule out the defense. For me, the option was easy. Marshawn Lynch is a BEAST!!! Maybe it's just a Lynch thing? He has to be the hardest runner in the NFL right meow. Dude just doesn't go down. Doesn't go backwards. Goal line work is just GG. He's the PERFECT non-PPR back. Wilson is fantastic, but I think the Hawks could beat just about any team with a combination of ball control, clock management, and a stellar D. To me, that limits his value.

At this point we're looking to fill; QB, WR, WR, FLEX, FLEX

Now came the tough, yet super easy decisions. You almost can't go wrong picking from the available teams left. You're bound to get a stud, it's just picking the right one.

I originally had Peyton Manning penciled in at QB, because, well, he's Peyton Manning... Then I decided that there are TOO many other options on this team to take Peyton. I needed at least 2 amazing WR's and I knew one was gonna come from Denver. I just chose the #1 option to be safe. Who fucking knows, Decker will probably have like 8 TD's or something. You really can't go wrong here though. Any DEN player works at any position, unless you're retarded and chose their DEF, in which case /kill. Even their KICKER broke the longest fg record this year, is crazy accurate, and DEN scores more than Leonardo Dicaprio.

I actually struggled pretty hard deciding on my last QB. I was thinking maybe Foles, who is apparently unstoppable? I'm not expecting them to get past the Saints in round 1, so I chose the guy who would most likely produce the strongest game, Shady McCoy. I'm pretty sure Shady could take the snap, fake it to himself, throw a dump pass to himself, catch it, and score a TD.

I also considered Kap, but he's been a bum all year. Kind of the same reason I didn't pick DangeRussell. Strong run game, great D, clock management. Also, this team had LOTS of options. Davis, Tree, Boldin, Gore... I wasn't even considering Davis, for whatever reason. (Maybe because our Dirty D league doesn't allow TE in the flex...) I wanted to pick Gore, but I had already been hoarding RB's and they might be facing the dreaded 12th man. It was between Tree and Boldin and I just love Tree more. I can almost guarantee this blows up in my face.

Then there's Rodgers. If there wasn't a player on GB named Lacy, he would've been my guy. I've just been SO impressed with this Rookie that I couldn't NOT take him as a flex!? Such a big runner... like MONSTROUS big. Gets a ton of work, Rodgers coming off an injury (I played at a MUCH smaller level with a broken collarbone, it's fucking terrible), plus playing in the cold weather? Run, run, run, run, run, TD!

Ultimately, I chose Rivers for a couple of reasons. First off, the Chargers are just having "one of those years". Everything is going right. Mathews has been fantastic, Woodhead is still killing it, Keenan Allen has emerged as a legit #1 speedster, hell, even Antonio Gates is viable again. I have a lot of confidence in Rivers and his ability this year. I think they have a decently good chance to beat Cinci and they're gonna have to do it through the air. If they DO win, they'll have a shootout with DEN. The 2 teams are 1-1 against each other this year, and they won't be going down easy. I figured not many, if any, would have Rivers at the helm so it's basically my "underdog" pick.

And there you have it folks. Another flawless draft. First round kickers FTW!!!

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