November 28, 2013

JET'S Picks for Thanksgiving and Week 13

Seyi Ajirotutu!? Lions can’t just tie the game with a FG or Calvin can’t just hold onto the ball!? Another terrible week is in the books. At least I pushed the Panthers game? Thankfully I made back some ground with the 49ers and Cardinals, but those weren’t my main picks from the blog (Quick Hitters) so it doesn’t help anyone else out. Well, here we go again….

3 Team Turkey Day Teaser

Lions +3.5 vs. Packers (Originally -6.5)
Cowboys +1 vs. Raiders (Originally -9)
Steelers +12.5 @ Ravens (Originally +2.5)

I annually make this bet, and I frequently win it. I plan to do so again this year. Lions are facing off against the Matt Flynn led Packers. That should be enough right there. Stafford should be able to shred the Packers defense. Flynn might have some success too as the Lions pass defense is not good but I see Lacy struggling to get the running game going against the Detroit front 7. I don’t expect this game to be all that close, with the Lions probably covering the full 6.5. Another should be layup teaser spread with the Cowboys just having to win at home against the Raiders. McGloin has looked solid in his first 2 starts, and should do well here against the Cowboys defense, but they just don’t have enough firepower to stay with the Romo and the Cowboys. Steelers and Ravens looked like a poor late night matchup a few weeks ago, but now both teams in the middle of the Wild Card hunt. These games are always close, fun matchups. The Steelers just look like the better team of late. Ray Rice is a shell of his former self, and Flacco is clearly not the QB they thought they were giving all that money too. This game can really go either way, but it should be a low scoring, close game and I will take all those points.

ATS Picks

Bears +1 @ Vikings
The Bears are a tough team to figure out. Right when you think they are good and can make a run, they throw up a stinker. Josh McCown however has looked decent at QB and should have a lot of success against the Vikings. Minnesota blew a big lead and came up with a tie against Matt Flynn. I see the Bears having a big offensive day here and confusing the public even more.

Patriots -7.5 @ Texans
I would probably by the points to make it 6.5 or 7 just in case, but I see the Patriots winning big here. Coming off that big come from behind win last week against the Broncos should have their confidence soaring. The Texans seem to get worse each week after losing to the Jaguars on Sunday when they were 10 point favorites. Nobody except the thought of the #1 overall pick can save Houston now. Patriots in a blowout.

Titans +4.5 @ Colts
The Colts have not looked good as of late. They keep falling into these huge holes early and as we saw last week, it just kept piling out. It seems Andrew Luck is struggling a bit since losing his main target in Reggie Wayne. A couple weeks ago, the Titans were left for dead, but now find themselves holding the tiebreaker for the 6th seed in the playoffs. Fitzpatrick has been playing well and should continue that against the Colts. The Colts had to come back in their first meeting to win by 3, and that’s the most I see them winning this one by. Give me the points here, and I would consider the Titans outright.

Quick Hitters

Broncos -4.5 @ Chiefs
Jaguars + 7 @ Browns
Panthers -8.5 vs. Bucs
Cardinals +3 @ Eagles
Jets -2 vs. Dolphins
Bills -3 vs. Falcons (in Toronto)
49ers -8 vs. Rams
Bengals +1 @ Chargers
Giants -1 @ Redskins
Saints +5@ Seahawks

It has been a rough first 2 weeks on the blog, but I feel a change coming. If not, then just go against what I say. I Jeremy Guarantee a come back!

November 26, 2013

Boston Sports Bender: 3 Days, 3 OT Wins!!

For my job, I'm lucky enough to have access to tickets so I can entertain clients and host potential partners at Bruins, Pats, and Celtics games. Last week I was able to get grab a pair of tickets to take someone to the Bruins-Penguins game, so I was pretty excited to go to my first Bruins game of the year... against one of our rivals (ish.) (Penguins)

But then something happened. Ms. N.W.O.T.B. was scheduled to babysit on Sunday night, for a couple who were planning on going to the most anticipated Pats game of the year... the Broncos/Wes Welker game on Sunday Night Football.

The couple calls her and says "We don't need you to babysit on Sunday anymore- we aren't going to the game. Actually, do you and your boyfriend James want to use our tickets and go to the game?"

Needless to say when I heard of this I thought it was a joke.... after a few moments reality sunk in and I realized this most definitely was real and we were going to see a Brady vs Manning showdown in person!

That was around 8:00pm on Friday night. About 90 minutes later I receive a text from my friend and captain of my Adult hockey team:

Ummm YUP!!!! I DO!!!!!

And just like that, I had an epic Boston Sports Bender on tap Saturday through Monday.

Saturday 1pm- Hurricanes at Bruins
Sunday 830pm- Broncos at Patriots
Monday 7pm- Penguins at Bruins 

And here's the recap:

Anyone who knows me pretty well knows I really hate the 1pm Bruins games on Saturdays. They just throw my whole day and sometimes entire weekend off. When I attend these games in person, something just seems right about day drinking and Bruins afternoon hockey. So around 11am I headed over to my favorite pre-game place:  Halftime Pizza

They sell 32oz beers for like $8 and there's nothing better to fill your stomach up with than a greasy slice of pie.

But most of all I love Halfitme Pizza because of the crowd. So many Bruins fans, they are always playing old time hockey fights and brawls on the TVs, people just crowd together and share tables, and the beer flows aplenty.

After a couple brews, Matt and I headed into the game. Matt is a season ticket holder and his seats are in one of the best places to watch a game in the Garden.... THE LAST ROW.

Here's the view during the national anthem:

During the game we had a couple more beers, the game itself was a good one. The Bruins carried the play most of the game, but regulation ended with the score 2-2.

For Overtime, I'd be lying if I said I clearly remember seeing that Claude decided to go with 3 forwards and 1 Defense-man... but that's what he did. And sure enough, just a minute and a half into OT, David Krejci picked up the puck in the slot, showed his worldly patience that still mesmerizes every-time, and put the game winner in for a 3-2 victory.

So the game ended around 3:30 or so, of course at 3:30 on a Saturday afternoon there's really nothing better to do than keep drinking and celebrating the recent OT win. Matt and I met up with my sister Jenna and her friend Jacqui. And #PlayoffMike.

We drank at Boston Beer Works. Upstairs. Not sure how long. Pretty foggy.  Here's a pic:

And then to top off this quintessential Bruins 1pm home game experience, on my walk home I stopped at Reginas Pizza in the North end for a couple slices.

I went home, took a nap, woke up and watched college hockey. Then I saw Boise state lose on TV IN OT, lame)  and went to bed.

My typical Sunday during football season consists of watching TV from 1230pm straight until bedtime. Pretty crazy that the NFL product can keep people entertained for that long, but it does.

This week I headed to Abe's house for #FantasyChef and Red Zone experience.

We ate BBQ Chicken Mac and Cheese and watched the 1pm games. Now, its important to note the weather.

The weather on this past Sunday was brutally cold. Easily the coldest day of the season  this year... I'm talking like 15 degrees with tough winds bringing the wind chill into the lower single digits. To say I dressed warm for the Pats game would be an understatement... I made sure I had layers on top of layer on top of layers. One thing was for sure... I was NOT leaving this game early, no matter how cold or how late it was.

Amazingly, the Patriots tickets we were given were club seats and included a parking pass.

For those who aren't familiar, the parking pass is like pure gold. Parking is awful around Gillette Stadium... The parking pass that allows back entry access is priceless. and we had it. Not to mention we had club seats which meant access to the indoor lounge area.

Here's our view from these amazing seats. 50 yard line. Unbelievable.

Anyway, like everyone knows, the Pats came out crazy flat and were down 24-0 by halftime. Let me say that watching that first half in person was one of the most deflating things Ive ever witnessed. So much hype surrounding this game... and the Pats fumbled away any chance of possibly making it interesting.

At halftime, a bunch of people left. The crowd around us sucked. Mostly all older, rich people who clearly don't have much interest in the game itself. I believe these people are called Pink Hats. Yes, the pink hats all left at halftime.

One stat I heard: Teams that go into the half down 24-0  were 6-485 all time.

Then, in the 3rd quarter, magic happened. The Patriots drove down the field and scored. They caused turnovers. They kept scoring INTO the wind. All of the sudden, comeback complete and we had the lead in the 4th Quarter.

As the time winded down in the 4th... the score was tied and OT was apparently going to be needed to decide this wild game. The Patriots won the toss, and Belichick decided to give Peyton Manning the ball, choosing to make him throw it into the wind. Of course, at the time, I thought this was foolish. I was pissed.... and turns out I was wrong.

Peyton couldn't move the ball in the wind. Apparently he has a noodle arm and he's kind of a loser.... a big thing about the game is that the Broncos rushed for 250 yards. Later we found out the Pats simply decided to keep 2 safeties back and they knew Peyton would take the ball out of his own hands and just try running it the whole game. As Tony Massarotti said, Belichick "rope-a-doped" Peyton. Again.

Obviously the play of the game was at the end. With the crowd chanting "WELLLLLL-KKKEERRRRRRR" he actually got rattled and made a critcal mistake. He didnt fair catch the punt and didnt wave off his teammates. The ball hit one of them and the Patriots jumped on the ball.

Here was our view of the game winning kick.

Patriots win 34-31 in OT. Biggest comeback in team history. Amazing game. We got home and in bed around 2am. Very tired, but well worth it. Also, found out the next day, this was the highest rated NFL game in Primetime since 1996! Wild.

Monday Morning was tough. I slugged my way through thew work day, looking forward to the Bruins-Penguins game.

I walked over to the Garden for the 2nd time in 3 days, met my friend/client, and we headed to our seats. Here is the view we had on Monday night:

Awesome seats. Down low so you appreciate the speed of the game, and on the end where the Bruins score twice.

The Bruins were up 3-2 in the 3rd (all 3 goal scored right in front of us) when Cindy Crosby pulled off a miracle and actually tied the game with 0.2 second left in regulation. After a review, they counted the goal, and I was headed to my 3rd OT game in 3 days.

Just like on Saturday, the OT didn't last long. Claude again went with 3 forwards, and less than a minute into the OT Torey Krug did this:

(What a Shot!!! Get this kid on Team USA!!! ) 

3 games
3 Overtimes
3 Boston wins

1 Unforgettable Weekend!!

November 21, 2013

JET's Picks: Week 12

Week 12

1 week of JET’s picks are in the books and I think we got off on the wrong foot. To say my picks were bad is an understatement. I lost the teaser and 2 of the 3 single games. Luckily for a “you can’t hit Drew Brees” penalty, the Saints were able to push. Again, the Texans failed me miserably, making Matt McGloin look like an all-pro in his first career start. I was able to save myself a bit by making a last minute teaser with the Chiefs, the over, and the Pats, but that didn’t help anyone who read this. Let’s put last week behind us, and move on to Week 12.

3-Team Teaser

Saints +.5 @ Falcons (originally -9.5)
Lions +1 vs. Bucs (originally -9)
Packers +5.5 vs. Vikings (originally -4.5)

I had planned on writing this “column” on Fridays, but I had to include the Thursday night game. The Falcons officially completed their downward spiral last week, getting destroyed by the 1 win Bucs. Saints on the road sometimes can be dicey, but it’s still in a dome so I am not worried. Matt Ryan looks awful and their defense is one of the worst out there. Drew Brees should be able to light up their secondary and glide to a victory. The Lions host the Bucs this week and I getting 1 with the tease seems too easy. Detroit should have won last week in Pitt except Jim Schwartz tried to fake a FG instead of go up 7 on the road, and the rest was history. The Bucs are on a 2 game win streak, and Mike Glennon looks like a legit NFL QB. Both those wins came at home though, and Detroit is in the thick of a playoff race. It will be interesting to see Megatron and Revis Island square off. There were a few games I was choosing from for my 3rd piece to the teaser, so I went with earlier game on Sunday. I know the Packers are reeling without Rodgers, but Tolzien hasn’t looked that bad. Certainly no worse than whatever the Vikings throw out there at QB. Add in the fact that AP is super banged up, it’s at Lambeau, and it’s a huge game for the Packers staying in the playoff hunt, and I see them coming out on top here.

ATS Picks
Chiefs -4.5 vs. Chargers
These spread boggles me. The Chiefs have one of the best home field advantages in the NFL and are only laying 4.5 to the Chargers?  The Chargers have not been playing well lately and this seems like a huge bounce back game for the Chiefs. The Chargers have the 27th worst ranked defense in the league, so even the Chiefs offense shouldn’t have a problem moving the ball. This is most likely a trap game, with the Chiefs coming off a loss to Denver and looking ahead to Denver again next week, but I’ll fall for it.

Panthers -4 @ Dolphins
I think over the past couple of week, the Panthers have proven that they are legit. Looking to keep pace in the wild card and divisional race, I expect the Panthers to keep rolling here. Sure, the Dolphins are in the wild card race, are coming off a win, and are at home, but with 60% of their offensive line out I expect this Panthers defense to be all over Tannehill and their pathetic run game. Cam Newton continues to impress week after week, and I look for him to continue that against a mediocre Miami team. I am usually weary of these small road favorites, but not here. Panthers roll.

Broncos -2.5 @ Patriots
Tough stretch for the Pats here, coming off a MNF loss at the Panthers (because they deserved to lose, not because of a picked up flag), and coming back home to face Peyton and the Broncos. Seriously, I still don’t know how the Colts beat them. They look unstoppable. I expect Welker to suit up and to have a huge game against his former teammates. I also see a nice bounce back game for Knowshon Moreno. It should be a great game, and it might even be close, but until the Broncos lose again, or don’t cover, I’m not picking against them.

Quick Hitters
Jags +10 @ Texans
Browns -1.5 vs. Steelers
Bears +1 @ Rams
Jets +4 @ Ravens
Raiders PICK vs. Titans
Cardinals -2.5 vs. Colts
Cowboys +2.5 @ Giants
49ers -5.5 @ Redskins

Of course, all lines are subject to change between now and Sunday. Hopefully this week turns out much better than last week. As always, I Jeremy Guarantee you winners!

November 20, 2013

Dellusional Thoughts from Fantasy Island- The Godfather

Abe, owner of the 4-7 fantasy football team "The Godfather" thinks he has a chance at making the playoffs with 2 weeks left in the regualr season. Below is what he wrote and came up with himself.... all I have to say is.... GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!!!


Why This Sophomore Thinks He Can Still Win The D
By: The GodFather (Abe)

It’s been a pretty brutal fantasy football season for me this year. With only 2 wins going into week 10 it was pretty much over for me and I was told to pack it in and just try to knock other people off their rides to the playoffs. Lucky for me, I didn’t give in and am on a 2  week win streak that has set me up for playoff contention if I can win the rest of the way out.

On a side note, if I do make the playoffs, I’m coming hard for the D and I would like to slap the commissioner of our league and the editor in chief of this blog with it and the following:

This is for the direct quote received via text this morning from the commish as follows:
Abe's not making the playoffs we need to get this out of ppls heads”

My next two matchups for weeks 12 and 13 are against two of the highest ranked and most well rostered teams so far and will be VERY difficult games for me to win. I don’t like the matchups, but I ABSOLUTELY have a chance to win both games.

Week 12 Breakdown: The Godfather VS Team Ice Cream

QBs: RGIII vs Drew Brees

This is one of the worst matchups I’ve faced all season and it comes at the worst time. RGIII playing against San Francisco’s defense is a tough matchup as it is, especially with Jordan Reed and Leonard Hankerson going down. Hopefully Reed can pass concussion testing and RGIII can make some magic happen. Drew Brees is going to absolutely annihilate the horrible Atlanta defense that gave up 35 points and only had 2 sacks last week against Mike Glennon and Tampa Bay.

WRs:  Demaryius Thomas/Keenan Allen VS Pierre Garcon/ ????

I’m really liking my wide receiver matchup here. Demaryius Thomas against the Patriots should be big points for me. Aqib Talib shadowed Steve Smith last night and had a good but tough night on the matchup and I would put money down that Demaryius can do a much better job against a shadowing Talib than Smith. Keenan Allen tweaked something on Sunday but should be good to put some points on the board against a great Kansas City defense. Peyton and Demaryius were able to beat one of the top defenses so hopefully Rivers and Allen can too. If Allen can’t go I will be subbing in Aaron Dobson against the Broncos. He should have a good game considering most defenses are more worried about Gronk and Amendola in the passing game.

Adam is rolling Garcon who had a slight sprain or something to that effect on Sunday. This is where I’m really hoping Jordan Reed can come back and step up to take the points away from Garcon against a tough defense. The best part about this WR matchup is that Adam’s other stud, DJax, is on bye this week and his bench is only holding Denarius Moore who is currently projected to sit out week 12 with an injured shoulder and Michael Crabtree who has yet to be activated from the PUP list. Who’s he going to pick up and drop? Great question!

RBs: Knowshon Moreno/Trent Richardson VS Reggie Bush/Andre Brown

Another tough but certainly not unwinnable matchup for me. Moreno is finna run for days against the Pats defense but I’m playing a wildcard that most people wouldn’t like with Trent Richardson against Adam’s Cardinals defense. Gio Bernard is on bye for me and it’s my best option.  Trent has been an absolute FLOP this year in Indy but hopefully he can break out for once against the Cards that won’t be able to stack the box like they did against MJD and the WR-less Jags last week. Indy is going hot-hand between Trent and Donald Brown so hopefully Richardson will make some nice early game runs to keep himself on the field.

Reggie Bush is a monster that will more likely than not shred the Tampa Bay defense. It’s notable that Bush had an odd week last week and Joique Bell took over the running game, so it will be interesting to see if Bush loses more carries to Joique this week again.  I also highly anticipate Andre Brown running all over the Dallas defense this week. With Eli Manning’s trash passing game, the Giants will most certainly give Brown the rock to shove down the Cowboys throat.

TEs: Jordan Reed VS Martellus Bennett
As I said before, I (as well as RGIII and the Skins) really need Jordan Reed to get through the concussion testing for this game. If he does, he’ll most likely see more targets with Hank-Time going down and Garcon less than 100%. San Fran is usually pretty good against TEs as well so this is a toss up.

Adam is rolling Martellus Bennett against the Rams. Great matchup for Bennett but hopefully he can do more than he has been. Averaging 9.7 fantasy points a game this year, he could explode against the rams, he could do a whole lot of nothing like he did Sunday against Baltimore. We shall see.

Flex Options: Aaron Dobson VS Ryan Mathews
These flex options are as it stands now. As I said earlier, Aaron Dobson should have a good game against the Broncos but if I have to put him in for Keenan Allen I will most likely be looking to play Nate Burleson if he can come back this week or another waiver wire WR.

There’s always debate about Mathews but it always seems to come out to this conclusion: he’s a great football player but never any help in fantasy football. Adam can also sub Mark Ingram and Joique Bell for him if he wants but with his DJax bye situation he has some sorting out to do.

Kickers:  Nick Folk VS Matt Prater
Kickers win games and these are two good ones to face off. Prater has 6 made from 40-49 yards  and 4 that are over 50 yards with 50 extra point kicks this year. Folk has 11 from 40-49 and only 1 over 50 with only 16 PATs. I feel like the Jets lean offensively on Folk a lot more than Denver does on Prater but this is a good matchup.

Defense: Da Bears VS The Cards
This will be another good matchup though I like Chicago better and I hope T-Rich pulls some crazy game out of his ass and shreds the Cards.

Overall Prediction:
I feel bad for Adam after the 180-100 beat down he took last week from the Boston Patriots, but I’m definitely taking him down this week. Predicted score:

The Godfather - 146
Team Ice Cream - 132

PS If I keep the streak alive I’ll break down week 13. If not I’ll be hiding in the sophomore slump crying.


November 19, 2013

Dirty D Playoff Scenarios

Here are the standings and total points after 11 weeks, with 2 regular season weeks remaining.

Clinched a playoff berth:
*1. Eat More Chicken 8-2-1, 1465
*2. Tahiti Loungers 8-3, 1419
*3. Team Ice Cream 7-3-1, 1472

In Contention:
4. Boston Patriots 6-5, 1500
5. Crossing Guards 6-5, 1427
6. A Pinch Better 6-5, 1267
7. Victorious Secret 5-6, 1197

Essentially eliminated:

8. The Godfather 4-7, 1227
9. the rental guys 4-7, 1225
10. A1 Providers 4-7, 1193
11. Angry Pirates 4-7, 1165

12. comeback story 3-8, 1096

Team by team breakdown:

1. Eat More Chicken

Jenna is sitting atop the League right now. She's in the playoffs and can finish no worse that 3rd place.
Week 12- Comeback Story
Week 13- the rental guys

Jenna clinches the BYE with:

1 more win
1 more loss for Adam
1 more loss for James

2. Tahiti Loungers

I've clinched a playoff spot (again, yawn.)
Week 12 vs A Pinch Better
Week 13 vs Comeback Story

I will clinch a BYE with:

2 more wins
1 more win plus 1 more loss by Adam
2 losses by Adam
1 win and 2 losses by Jenna

3. Team Ice Cream

Adam has clinched a playoff spot. He is currently half a game behind me for the second BYE. He will clinch a BYE with:

2 wins and 1 loss by James
1 win and 2 losses for James (lol good joke)
2 wins and 2 losses for Jenna

4. Boston Patriots

The Boston Patriots are on FIRE. Mr. B actually took over the point lead total with another huge week.
Week 12 vs Victorious Secret
Week 13 vs The Godfather

At 6-5 with such a high point total, Mr. B is essentially already in the playoffs. No 4-7 team will catch him.

The only way Mr. B would miss the playoffs is if ALL of the following things happened:

-Boston Patriots lose in Week 12 (vs. Kait)
-A Pinch Better wins in Week 12 (vs. James)
-Crossing Guards win in Week 12 (vs Paul)
-Boston Patriots lose in Week 13 (vs Abe)
-Victorious Secret win in Week 13 (vs Sean)

Mr. B will officially clinch a playoff spot with 1 more win.

5. The Crossing Guards 

Week 12 vs A1 Providers
Week 13 vs Team Ice Cream

Similar to the Boston Patriots, the high/uncatchable point total  for the Crossing Guards (6-5) has basically put Bill in the playoffs already.

Here's one Scenario that leaves Bill in 7th place, where he truly belongs.

-The Crossing Guards lose Week 12 (vs A1 Providers)
-Victorious Secret wins Week 12 (vs Boston Patriots)
-A Pinch Better wins Week 12 (vs Tahiti Loungers)
-The Crossing Guards lose Week 13 (vs Team Ice Cream)
-Victorious Secret wins Week 13 (vs A Pinch Better)

So basically if Bill, myself, OR Mr. B win this week (all favored), Bill will clinch a spot.  If we all lose, Bill will be rooting for (his own team and) Sean over Kait in the final week.

6. A Pinch Better
Week 12 vs Tahiti Loungers
Week 13 vs Victorious Secret

Sean is in position to control his own destiny. If he wins both weeks he'll be in the playoffs.

If Sean wins Week 12 and Kait loses Week 12, He is in, she is out, and we will have all 6 playoff teams set before entering the last week.

If Sean loses Week 12, which he likely will (My team is currently projected for 142), He will either enter the last week in 7th place (if Kait wins Week 12) or 6th place....setting up for an exciting play-in game in Week 13. Kait vs Sean.

7. Victorious Secret
Week 12 vs Boston Patriots
Week 13 vs A Pinch Better

Luckily for Kait, she still controls her own destiny. If she wins the next 2 weeks, she will be the #6 seed.

If Kait loses Week 12, Sean or Bill would also have to lose or else Kait is eliminated


All the 4-7 teams that think they have a chance to make the playoffs (ahem, Abe, ahem) will need to win both of their remaining games and get help. And score points.

I'm not going to sit here and go through each individual team and what they need to happen to get in. It's a lot. After Week 12 if any of these 4-7 teams win, at that point it will be easy to tell what they need to happen to get in.

For the most part, these 4-7 scrubinos will be rooting for Kait and Sean to lose,

**the rental guys and Angry Pirates play against each other in Week 13...the loser of that matchup will be eliminated (if they haven't been eliminated already)

The only 3-8 team we have in the league, Comeback Story, is officially eliminated. Hes playing the Angry Pirates in Week 12 and Tahiti Loungers in Week 13.

C Bunny is pretty much already eliminated so this weeks matchup means nothing. Donny may have a chance to ruin my BYE in the last week, I suppose that's the only thing he has to look forward to the rest of the year.

Patriots get jobbed, Again!!!!

Wow. Pats just got jobbed again. On MNF. As non-biasedly as possible, here's what happened:

Panthers 24
Patriots 20
3 Seconds left on the clock
Ball on the Panthers 18

Brady drops back, side steps pressure, delivers a ball intended for Gronk that is intercepted about 6 yards into the end zone.

Flag comes in by the official standing a few feet away from the play. Pass Interference on Kuechly. Clearly the defender wasn't looking for the ball (face guarding, penalty) as Kuechly was literally hugging Gronk. He is directly in between Gronk and the ball.

Another official comes in and says the ball was uncatchable. That it was thrown too short for Gronk (6' 6") to possibly come back and catch the ball.

Flag picked up. Game over.

What?!?!?!?! Uncatchable??


Game over. Such a bad call. Jobbed again.

And heres what the masses have to say:

(Make sure to scroll all the way down and check out the vid of Brady getting pissed at the ref after they picked up the flag)


Video of Gronk struggling to answer whether or not he thought he was held on the last play. laugh out loud stuff here-

November 15, 2013

JET's Picks: Week 11


Jeremy,  who is a regular contributor to the blog, (and a Jets/Yankees/NBA fan. gross) is going to start giving me his NFL weekly picks to post. Below is version number 1. 

 I'm not sure if Jeremy actually put "Jets" and "Picks" together on purpose...but obviously the second I heard the title of the weekly "column" I decided to make a nice graphic I can post at the top every time. I hope you all make some $$$ with these picks!!!  

Week 11

Welcome to the first edition of JET’s Picks. I plan to give you all my 3-team Teaser of the week and then pick my 3 favorite games ATS. Hopefully I can pick some winners. Just because I publish these picks on this blog doesn’t necessarily mean these are the bets I am taking. Obviously injuries can occur, or I can change my mind if I hear something, but most likely this is what I am taking. I Jeremy Guarantee a good time.

3-Team Teaser

For those who aren’t aware of how a Teaser works, here is a quick guide. For a 3-team Teaser, you are adding 10 points to the spread for 3 the teams you pick. For instance, if I took the Jets as part of my teaser, and they were originally +1, then I would have the Jets at +11. Simple enough. Now on to the picks.

Seahawks -2 (originally -12)
Cardinals +1 (originally -9)
Texans +3 (originally -7)

Seahawks are at home this week against the lowly Vikings. Seahawks are finally getting healthy with Harvin set to return along with 3 offensive linemen. Good chance they cover the large spread of 12 too, but I like my chances here only giving 2 at home. The Cardinals defense is playing lights out this season, and should have no problem with the Jags. Peterson should shut down Cecil Shorts and the rush defense is 3rd in the league and should be able to stop MJD. This may be a close one, but I don’t see the Cards losing or even the Jags winning 2 in a row. For the Texans, they have burned me time after time this season. Their season is lost, but Keenum has sparked some life into the offense and has the crowd behind him. The Raiders are playing terrible of late, and it’s possible they will be without Pryor at QB. It will be ugly, but the Texans should come out on top.

ATS Picks

Browns +6 @ Bengals
The Browns won against the Bengals in their previous meeting, but that was with Brian Hoyer at QB. Still, Campbell has been playing very well since taking over for Weeden and they are right in the thick of this AFC North/Wild Card hunt. Their defense should be able to do enough in this game to keep it close as the Bengals offense is nothing special. They may lose, but it will be close. Take the points.

Saints -3 vs. 49ers
Drew Brees and the Saints are just a different animal at home. 49ers are coming off a tough loss at home against the Panthers and I think they lose another one here. I know the 49ers pulled out the win last year in NO, but the Saints look like a team on a mission this season.

Chiefs +8 @ Broncos
I know its Peyton Manning and he is at home, but I will take the undefeated team with the best defense in football getting 8 points all day. Peyton Manning hobbling around on his ankle should still have a fine game, but I don’t see them getting past 30 points this game. As long as Alex Smith does what he does best, not make mistakes, they keep this one close.

Dirty D Week 11 Power Ranks

This past week things got REAL tight in the Dirty D. Adam, Jenna, and myself ALL LOST... which means all the teams in the middle that needed to win, did.

The trade deadline is tonight at 3am EST. Last chance to acquire players off other teams directly.

With that, here are the Power Ranks with 3 weeks left in the regular season:

1. Tahiti Loungers

Here's my potential playoff lineup:

Aaron Rodgers
Wes Welker
Jordy Nelson
Jamaal Charles
Eddie Lacy
Jimmy Graham
Victor Cruz
KC Defense

I dare anyone reading this to find any roster in any league they play in that's better than this one. (12 team PPR)

-I'm not too concerned with the recent slides of Welker and Cruz. Both are proven studs and I'm confident starting these guys with the D on the line (Weeks 15-16)

-I'm also confident in Rodgers coming back healthy before Week 14. I'll be leaning heavily on my GB trio of Rodgers, Jordy, and Lacy.

Since I made the trade for Welker:
(Traded away Spiller, Hartline, Douglas for Welker)

Welker- 18-16-20-BYE-5
Hartline- BYE-12-7-6-10
Douglas- BYE-29-26-11-9
Spiller- 8-4-DNP-18-6


Douglas- 75
Welker- 59
Spiller- 36
Hartline- 35

So basically as you can see through 5 weeks I've clearly lost the trade simply from Douglas himself outscoring Welker. 

2. Crossing Guards

The Crossing Guards won a critical matchup this week, led by it's stars. Marshawn Lynch and AJ Green both exploded, and on a down week in the League overall, those 2 beast performances were enough for Bill.

Cam Newton laid an egg and only produced 5 fantasy points, dont expect much of that moving forward. Vincent Jackson also only had 5 points... while I still like V Jax overall he is going to be VERY up and down with Glennon at QB for the rest of the season. Not the type of player I like having in my lineup.. but when he has a game he HAS A GAME. ( 3 games of 28+ points this year )

Bill is going to get a nice boost from Shane Vereen being back this week. Bill basically stole Vereen from Adam (trading him Vick straight up, a move I didn't like for Adam at the time) and thats the real reason Im keeping Bill at # 2 this week. I expect a nice stretch of games from Vereen on tap.I'd much prefer NOT facing this team in the playoffs.

3. Team Ice Cream

QBBCC. Quarterback by Committee City. Even though Adam  had traded for a QB (Aaron Rodgers) he found himself once again looking for a QB option in week 10. Here is Adam's QB usage each week this year. This my friends, is pure comedy:

Week One- 34 (Eli Manning)
Week Two- 12 (Eli)
Week Three- 3 (Eli)
Week Four- 5 (Dalton)
Week Five-2 (Hoyer)
Week Six- 7 (Eli)
Week Seven- 12 (Eli)
Week Eight- 22 (Rodgers)
Week Nine- 1 (Rodgers)
Week Ten- -3 (Locker)

That 95 points from his QB position in 10 weeks. You CANNOT expect to win if you're only getting 9 points from the highest scoring position in fantasy football. Take away Week 1 and his QB was averaging UNDER SEVEN points per week. SO gross.

Luckily for Adam he's sitting in 1st place and wont finish worse than 3rd, despite this horrid QB Play.

** Adam has rectified his QB situation drastically. Drew Brees is the new slinger here, there's probably no other QB Id rather own Weeks 11-16 than Brees.

Andre Brown looked great in his first game back to the Giants. He toted the rock 30 times and scored a TD. He's the Giants clear early down back, passing down back, AND goal line back, so at the very worst I see him as a middle of the road RB2 for the rest of the season.

Giants RB fantasy points through 8 weeks:

Week One- 9     (Scott 12, Wilson -3)
Week Two- 18   (Scott 11, Jacobs 6, Wilson 1)
Week Three- 6     (Scott 3, Wilson 3)
Week Four- 11   (Wilson 7, Scott 3, Jacobs 1)
Week Five- 8     (Wilson 7, Jacobs 1)
Week Six- 25   (Jacobs 23, Scott 2)
Week Seven- 26   (Hillis 18, Connor 4, Cox 4)
Week Eight- 16   (Hillls 11, Cox 3, Connor 2)

That's an average of almost 15 fantasy points per game with scrubs. Andre Brown isn't crazy talented, but he has boatloads more than Hillis and Jacobs who produced RB2 numbers themselves (combined)

After crushing it in the first half of the season, Adam has somewhat come back down to earth.

Weeks 1-6 average score: 147
Week 7-10 average score: 123

However, that 123 is still higher than what 7 teams have averaged all year.

4. Boston Patriots-

In the Week 8 Power Ranks I had moved this team allll the way down to the #11 spot. Reggie Wayne and Randall Cobb were lost for the year. Brandon Gibson (now gone) and Brandon Lafell were in the starting lineup for this team. I wanted to puke.

But then karma happened.

For all the times we all say "Mr. B has horrible luck", well, he's gotten AWFULLY lucky the past 3 weeks to go 3-0.

And I'm not talking about getting lucky by playing weak teams. I'm talking about picking up and playing scrubs who end up with great games.

Past 3 weeks:

Boston Patriots 150 Opponent 101
Boston Patriots 141 Opponent 87
Boston Patriots  143 Opponent 110

These are the stat lines that jump off the page from the past 3 weeks:

Golden Tate- 26 points in Week 8
Cincy DEF- 26 points in Week 8
Mason Crosby- 15 points in Week 8
Chris Johnson- 38 points in Week 9
Golden Tate- 24 points in Week 10
Pierre Thomas- 29 points in Week 10

Also, not that any of this is fluky, but over the win streak of 3 games Mr B has had excellent play from the following  guys:

Pierre Thomas- 11-15-29
I hate Pierre Thomas. There's no way he continues to average over 18 fantasy points a game. No way. He stepped up nicely for Mr. B but this isn't sustainable... Saints RBs not named in Sproles in a PPR league = no thanks.

Antonio Brown- 17-18-18
Antonio Brown has been a super stud. Hes the #8 WR in the league this year to date (And yes he has had his bye). Mr B grabbed him with his pick in the 6th round of the draft.  Here are the 10 WRs selected before Brown

68th overall- Antonio Brown
67th overall- DeSean Jackson
66th overall- Steve Smith
60th overall- Hakeem Nicks
57th overall- Torrey Smith
56th overall- Jordy Nelson
54th overall- Eric Decker
51st overall- Marques Colston
50th overall- James Jones
48th overall- Dwayne Bowe

Decker, Jordy and Desean are good picks but the rest of the owners who choose these clowns over Antonio Brown should be pissed right now. I called Brown one of the steals of our draft in the draft recap.

5. Eat More Chicken

As per usual, the Cowboys had a slow game so Jenna had a slow week. Her superstar Dez Bryant produced a season low 5 points. He'll be fine (the back injury is somewhat concerning, but remember, Dez has a history of producing through injuries.) Jason Witten, however, is averaging just 6 points a week since October and I'm not sure if he's someone to count on.

Lamar Miller has been crazy disappointing. I know this because I own him in another league. The guy had 2 yards rushing Monday night. Two Yards. The Dolphins don't use him. He's missed 0 games and still has just 70 total points. He's not injured. He's the guy you HATE having on your team because he gives a somewhat viable option but truthfully, it would be better to just move on. This guy is the #34 RB in our league this year. And again, he hasn't missed time. He's already been passed by guys like Roy Helu and Rashad Jennings.

Here's Jennas RB depth chart:

Matt Forte (stud)
Lamar Miller (loser)
Mike Tolbert (wayyyy too TD dependant)

Wr Depth Chart:

Dez (stud)
Andre Johnson (stud)
Anquan Boldin (gross)
DeAndre Hopkins (gross)

If you take away Boldins FREAK Week 1 game (he scored 51 points!) he has averaged just 8.5 points. You NEED more production from that from your flex player.

Basically Jenna is
-whoa crazy crazy thin at RB
-whoa crazy crazy thin at WR
-Meh TE
-Good QB

So I very truly doubt Jenna can win the league with the roster as is. If she gets a bye anything is possible (2 wins are easy to string) but unless something wild happens, Jenna is going to lose to someone at some point. You cant take any 3 week window from Jenna's great season so far and expect to win all 3 of those games.

Week One- 167
Week Two- 142
Week Three- 113

Week Four- 162
Week Five- 163
Week Six- 104

Week Seven- 120
Week Eight- 109
Week Nine- 187

Week Ten- 76

The possible Week 14 Bye means much more to Jenna than either me or Adam. With 3 bunnies on tap (Donny, Dan, Paul) Jenna has a decent chance of making that happen

6. The Godfather

Oh man, its just a damn shame this is probably too little too late. Abe led the league in scoring this past week... his excellent "core 5" came through in the clutch.

D Thomas
K Allen
G Bernard
K Moreno
J Reed

These guys are studs. Add in the high-ceiling RG3 and you're looking at whats likely to be my vote for "Best Roster not in the playoffs"

I sat down with Abe and we charted out what would need to happen for him to make the playoffs. Its a possibility, but very unlikely. What IS nice is that Abe has a solid chance to crush these dreams:

Week 11 vs Paul- The loser of this matchup will officially be eliminated from contention

Week 12 vs Adam- Abe has a decent chance to beat Adam and cause him to miss out on a BYE

Week 13 vs Mr. B- This is a huge matchup. Depending on what Mr B does before this... he could very well need to beat Abe to make the playoffs.

**Its also worth noting Abe has taken over the lead for "Most points against."  Teams are averaging 125 point per week vs Abe this year.

7. Victorious Secret

Mayday...Mayday....Kait has lost 4/5 matchups and averaged just 94 points per week over that stretch.

What seemed to be a sure-fire playoff team in September, Kait is now 5-5 with a low point total and on the outside looking in. Whats even worse news for Kait is that this critical week 11 she is facing my team... an extremely tough matchup.

Weeks 1-5 average score: 126
Weeks 6-10 average score: 94

The main difference for the gap? Peyton Manning.

Weeks 1-5 Peyton Manning average: 35 points
Week 6-10 Peyton Manning average: 23 points

Moving forward Kait is going to be able to FINALLY play Percy. He was actually expected to return a few weeks ago but had a setback.... Kait likely traded away Welker with the idea of replacing him with Percy. Also, Gronk should be a nice difference maker for Kait down the stretch.

One other thing... Danny Woodhead is a beast. A really nice surprise for Kait after T Rich shit the bed and Ridley has been annoying to own. Woodhead is currently the #10 RB in our league this year. Last year on the Pats as their 3rd RB option, Woodhead managed to finish as the #26 RB. He's a player.

8. A Pinch Better

Foster officially being put on IR is actually a good thing for Sean. Now he can play Ben Tate, who is likely to get a full work load each week. Plus he is talented and in a nice running offense. Similar to my thoughts on Andre Brown, I highly doubt Tate finishes outside the top 15 RBs from now until the end of the season.

Sean got lucky as hell this week (and needed it) when Jenna only scored 70 something points. Sean put up under 90 and won... one of the luckiest wins in the league this season.

Roddy White has been a sad, sad story this year. 2013 is nothing like any of his other NFL seasons... Injuries are piling up, the Falcons are falling apart. He's on Revis Island this week. No Julio on the other side.

Because I am writing this on Friday, we already know Sean is heading into Sunday down 37-0 after getting Fleener'd and Wright'd by C Bunny last night. Sean's lineup is this week is weak, so if a loss is assumed that means Sean is 5-6, will be in 7th or 8th place, has a modest point total, and is playing My team next week. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT

9. Angry Pirates

C Bunny finally stopped the bleeding (aka his 4 game losing streak) with a 107 point effort and win this past week.

Listen... this team is so soft and so bunny-like its INSANE! Campbells highest score was in week 1 when he put down 120 points. Let me say that again. 120 is the most amount of points C Bunny has scored in one week all year. 105 point weekly average.

How has this happened? C-Bell had the #1 overall pick. That usually translates to success. Lets re-visit C-Bells first few picks of the draft:

Round 1- AP
Round 2- Demaryius Thomas
Round 3- David Wilson
Round 4- Dwayne Bowe
Round 5- Russell Wilson
Round 6- Deangelo Williams
Round 7- Mike Wallace

Overall, very gross. The failures of D Wilson, Bowe, Wallace, and Williams have crippled this team. I hated C Bells draft, giving him the 3rd worst grade in the league. My thoughts have been justifed.


This week, though, as I mentioned above- Campbells had a great start to Week 11. Fleener had a season high 20 points and K Wright continues to put up PPR numbers in Tennessee.

Lets pencil a win in for C Bunny. That brings him to 5-6. He plays Donny in Week 13. TCBell SHOULD win that game. If he does, hes sitting at 6-6 heading into the final week.

In the final week C Bunny plays Dan. That's a winnable matchup. Lets say he comes through... that puts C Bunny at 7-6 and probably in the playoffs.

That's right, I said it. C Bunny in the playoffs. There's a very real chance of this happening.

10. the rental guys- 

Dan ran into a buzzsaw in Week 10 when he unfortunately got tuned up by the highest scoring tea, in the league. Of course, when only scoring 95 points you expect to lose anyway, but this was a huge loss at a bad time.

I really liked the late week pop and play with Eifert... He should have scored more than the 8 points he got for Dan.

Kapernick only scored 2 points... its the 4th time this year he has been under 10. That's crazy and unacceptable... the offensive scheme (and lack of playmakers) is really hurting Kaepernick's fantasy value. He needs to run to make up for this, but hes only eclipsed 50 rushing yards 3 times this year (with only 3 rushing TDs total)

Moving forward, Dan will need to win at least 2, if not all 3 matchups to get in the playoffs. Bill this week, Jenna next, and he finishes with a matchup vs the C Bunny.

11. Comeback story-

So gross... after exploding for over 150 points in Week 9, Donny came back down to earth and scored a much more familiar 84 points.

Brady and Amendola were on BYE plus Mike James left the game early (and is lost for the season) so Ill give Donny a pass here. Just bad timing.

TY Hilton is going to be exciting moving forward. Hes been a super stud since Reggie Wayne went down.. and hes very talented. I like him as a high end WR2 ROS.

Donny's team is basically irrelevant moving forward. He plays Jenna, Campbell, and myself in the last 3 weeks. C Bunny is out, so the only things Donny can do is possibly upset either Jenna or I and ruin our chance at the Bye. Unfrotunately he doesn't have a chance to knock anyone out this year.

No one will ever match Trevor's AWFUL 2010 season where he went 3-12 averaging 81 points per week and breaking 100 just twice all year. BUT... Donny's 2013 season is going to end up being pretty gross... like bottom 5 in league history. I'm pissed at myself for giving Donny a solid draft rank (6th) cuz looking back it was probably the worst in the league.

12. A1 Providers-

The bachelor came up with a HUGE win last week... he got lucky to win with 94 points.  The low-total win doesn't really do much for Paul...but he still thinks he s going to win out and make the playoffs.

Its too bad Paul left Riley Cooper on the bench... that was actually a GREAT pick up by Paul, possibly the best pick up hes ever made. Over the past 4 weeks here are the top scoring Wrs:

Megatron- 130
AJ Green- 109
Andre Johnson- 93
Riley Cooper- 83

1st I HAVE to point out again what a monster Megatron is. Wow. What a gap.

2nd... Riley Cooper obv isn't in the same class as the other names here... but I do think he continues to produce like a back end WR2 for the ROS. Nick Foles just seems to find him... and somehow hes become the deep threat for the Eagles (D Jax????)

Ellington only had about a dozen touches and the coaching staff re-oterated after the game it was "plenty" for him... which is absolute garbage. Elllington is a beast who need the rock more... but part of the reason I trraded him away is I truly think the AZ coaching staff will limit his carries and continue to let Mendhall play over Ellington. This should be a crime.

Paul has an important matchup in Week 12 vs Bill. Im sure it would feel GREAT to beat Bill down into 7th place and cause him to miss the playoffs again. Also Paul has a chance to beat Jenna in the last week and knock her out of the #1 or #2 seed.

My Updated Projected Standings

Jenna 10-2-1
James 10-3
Adam 9-3-1
Bill 8-5
Campbell 7-6 
Mr. B 6-7

Sean 6-7
Kait 5-8 
Abe 5-8
Dan 4-9
Paul 4-9
Donny 3-10

Based on the following-

Week 11
James over Kait
Adam over Mr B
Jenna over Donny
Campbell over Sean
Abe over Paul
Bill over Dan

Week 12
James over Sean
Adam over Abe
Campbell over Donny
Bill over Paul
Mr. B over Kait
Jenna over Dan

Week 13
James over Donny
Abe over Mr B
Bill over Adam
Sean over Kait
Jenna over Paul
Campbell over Dan

November 6, 2013

Tahiti Loungers vs the rental guys

Fantasy Football is a numbers game, which makes success and failure easy to track. (and fun to sort)

Fantasy Football is also a lot about luck.... Any given roster can beat another in a single week. However, over time, you can see that there's a lot more than luck involved in this game.

Today I want to compare 2 storied franchises- Tahiti Loungers (my team) and the rental guys (Dan's team)

-In case you are wondering, "the rental guys" is purposely lower cased. My best guess is that Dan was simply too lazy to capitalize the R and G  when he originally named his team and this way just stuck.

-the rental guys and the Tahiti Loungers are two of only three franchises to stick with the same team name since Day 1. The other is the Angry Pirates. The "D" has never been won by anyone else.

-the rental guys and the Tahiti Loungers are the only 2 franchises to qualify for the playoffs every year

- There have been 69 scorable weeks in which both the Tahiti Loungers and the rental guys had a matchup.

If these two teams were to play heads up every week, Tahiti Loungers would have won 44 times, the rental guys would have won 24 times, and once the result would have ended in a tie.

That means I would have won close to 65% of the time. That's basically 2 out of every 3 weeks.

Scoring averages

2009 Tahiti Loungers 120 (2nd in the league)
2009 rental guys  107 (9th in the league)

2010 Tahiti Loungers 132 (1st in the league)
2010 rental guys 109 (9th in the league)

2011 Tahiti Loungers 126 (3rd in the league)
2011 rental guys 110 (6th in the league) 

2012 Tahiti Loungers 132 (1st in the league)
2012 rental guys 121 (7th in the league)

2013 Tahiti Loungers 132 (Currently 3rd in the league)
2013 rental guys 121 (Currently 7th in the league)

All time Tahiti Loungers scoring average-   128.4
All time the rental guys scoring average-   112.4

All time records:
Tahiti Loungers 46-25
the rental guys 39-30-2

Number of times team has scored over 150:
Tahiti Loungers- 13
then rental guys- 5

Number of times team has scored under 100:
Tahiti Loungers- 7
the rental guys- 25

Tahiti Loungers- 2 (2010, 2012)
the renal guys- 1 (2009)

So basically, its more of a fact than an opinion that I'm better than Dan at Fantasy Football considering I come out ahead in every single metric. I'd love to hear/read a rebuttal to this.

Top Heavy much?

Here are the average weekly scores for every team in our league since Week 5.

-Obviously the league has become top heavy. The 5 tall bars on the left represent all the best teams. This huge gap between talent opens the door for a 6-7 team to sneak into the playoffs.

-Sean and Dan have scored the exact same amount of points (559)

Here are the team records over the 5 weeks:

Jenna 4-1

Adam 4-1

James 4-1 

Bill 3-2

Mr. B 2-3

Sean 3-2

Dan 3-2

Campbell 1-4

Abe 1-4

Donny 2-3

Kait 2-3

Paul 1-4

November 5, 2013

Week 10 Dirty D Power Ranks

This week for Power Ranks I decided to use a math equation again to try and objectively look at the teams.

I adjusted my grading system slightly from last time. I created a separate "Flex " ranking.

I wanted this to reflect what each teams optimal starting lineup would be, so this doesn't do a good job of taking into account depth. Here's how I weighted out the positions:

QB- 22%
Top 2 WRs- 25%
Top 2 RBs- 25%
TE- 12%
Flex- 16%

**Again this time I did NOT account for D/ST or Kickers. This hurt Team Ice Cream quite a bit...Adam has a monster weekly advantage with the KC defense. Outside of KC, there really is no "difference-making" D/ST this year. Even a team like Seattle hasn't produced a huge advantage thus far. So, I WILL take D/ST account when looking at Adam's team only.

QB Ranks
12 points- Victorious Secret (Peyton)
11 points- Tahiti Loungers (Brees)
10 points- Crossing Guards (Cam)
9 points- Boston Patriots (Stafford/Rivers)
8 points-  Eat More Chicken (Romo/Luck)
7 points- Angry Pirates (Wilson)
6 points- Comeback Story (Brady)
5 points- Team Ice Cream (Rodgers)
4 points- The Godfather (RG3)
3 points- the rental guys (Kaepernick)
2 points- A Pinch Better (Pryor/Vick)
1 point- A1 Providers (Matt Ryan)

WR Ranks
12 points- Eat More Chicken (Dez Bryant & Andre Johnson)
11 points- Tahiti Loungers (Wes Welker & Victor Cruz)
10 points- The Godfather (Demaryius Thomas & Keenan Allen)
9 points- Crossing Guards (AJ Green & Vincent Jackson)
8 points- Angry Pirates (Eric Decker & Josh Gordon)
7 points- A Pinch Better (Megatron & Larry Fitzgerald)
6 points- A1 Providers (Brandon Marshall & Steve Smith)
5 points- Team Ice Cream (DeSean Jackson & Pierre Garcon)
4 points- Boston Patriots (Antonio Brown & Brandon Lafell)
3 points- Comeback Story (Danny Amendola & TY Hilton)
2 points- the rental guys (Cecil Shorts & James Jones)
1 point-  Victorious Secret (Brian Hartline & Harry Douglas)

RB Ranks
12 points- Team Ice Cream (Jamaal Charles & Reggie Bush)
11 points- Crossing Guards (Marshawn Lynch & Shane Vereen)
10 points- The Godfather (Knowshon Moreno & Gio Bernard)
9 points- Boston Patriots (LeSean McCoy & CJ?K)
8 points- Eat More Chicken (Matt Forte & Lamar Miller)
7 points- the rental guys (Zac Stacy & Leveon Bell)
6 points- Tahiti Loungers (Eddie Lacy & Ray Rice)
5 points- A1 Providers (Frank Gore & Andre Ellington)
4 points- Angry Pirates (AP & Darren Sproles)
3 points- Victorious Secret (Stevan Ridley & CJ Spiller)
2 points- A Pinch Better (DeMarco Murray & Houston RB)
1 point- Comeback Story (Alfred Morris & Steven Jackson)

FLEX Ranks
12 points- Tahiti Loungers (Jordy Nelson)
11 points- Victorious Secret (Danny Woodhead)
10 points- Comeback Story (Terrance Williams)
9 points- Crossing Guards (Torrey Smith)
8 points- the rental guys (Fred Jackson)
7 points- Eat More Chicken (Anquan Boldin)
6 points- The Godfather (Aaron Dobson)
5 points- A Pinch Better (Roddy White)
4 points- Boston Patriots (Pierre Thomas)
3 points- Team Ice Cream (Ryan Mathews)
2 points- Angry Pirates (Mike Wallace)
1 points- A1 Provides (Jaquizz Rodgers)

TE Ranks
12 points- Tahiti Loungers (Graham)
11 points- Victorious Secret (Gronk)
10 points- Boston Patriots (Thomas/Gates)
9 points- Crossing Guards (V Davis)
8 points- Eat More Chicken (Witten)
7 points-  the rental guys (Cameron)
6 points- The Godfather (Reed)
5 points- Comeback Story (T Gonz)
4 points- Team Ice Cream (Bennett/Olsen)
3 points- A1 Providers (Miller)
2 points- Angry Pirates (Fleener)
1 point- A Pinch Better (Clark)

Here are the raw point totals from the above ranking system:

Tahiti Loungers- 1,003
Crossing Guards- 972
Eat More Chicken- 884
The Godfather- 756
Boston Patriots- 707
Victorious Secret- 672
Team Ice Cream- 631
Angry Pirates- 510
the rental guys- 503
Comeback Story- 452
A Pinch Better- 361
A1 Providers- 349

and, based mostly on that, here is this weeks version of Power Ranks-

1. Tahiti Loungers

With Welker and Cruz on bye, my team struggled it's way to 128 points- my 3rd lowest output of the season. Ray Rice only managed 6 points and looked awful again. I'm going to look pretty stupid trading away Ellington and Marshall for Cruz and Rice if Rice doesn't figure shit out by playoff time. I still refuse to believe someone who has been so dominant in the past can be held so far down for so long. Rice has years of production working in his favor. In other news for my team, it looks like Jimmy Graham is completely healthy and Eddie Lacy keeps rolling his way up the RB ranks. Most sites have Lacy listed as a top 6 RB moving forward. Trading Kenbrell Thompkins for Lacy straight up is likely going to end up as the most lopsided trade in the League this year.

2. Crossing Guards

The highest rank #AutoBill has received from me all year... which is admittingly somewhat odd timing considering the shitty week Bill had. He scored just 98 points but escaped with a crucial victory. A loss this past week would have been crushing for Bill... he can't really afford more than 1 more loss the rest of the regular season. The fact remains that Bill's core of Cam-AJ-VJax-VD-Lynch is explosive and dangerous. Look for Bill to go a mini-run here late in the season to secure his first playoff birth since has has maybe the easiest 3 week stretch imaginable- Donny, Dan, and Paul.

3. Eat More Chicken

Another HUGE week for Jenna. This year she has gone over 160 four times. Shes also scored under 120 four times so this is pretty much the definition of a "boom or bust" team. Jenna's team had\s basically no depth whatsoever, but her studly starters are getting it done right now. Forte, Dez, and Andre MAY be the best  trio in the league. Who knows. Securing a 1st round BYE is crucial for Jenna... it will be a LOT easier for this team to win 2 games in a row instead of 3. Only time will tell if this team is lucky enough to avoid any major injuries to it's starters which is critical because of the lack of depth.

4. Team Ice Cream

Wow. What a week for Team Ice Cream. First and most importantly, the loss of Justin Blackmon is huge. He was averaging over 20 points per game.  Part of the reason why Adam was able to trade away Megatron for an upgrade at QB was his depth at WR. All of the sudden, Adam is scrambling to find a viable 3rd WR. This week he picked Doug Baldwin and that worked out nicely in his flex position. This is going to be a weekly game, though. Adam no longer has a no brainer to plug in at flex.  The other major news here is the Aaron Rodgers injury. THANKFULLY it seems as if Rodgers will likely be back for the fantasy playoffs. Adam will have to make due with Free Agent fodder until then, but its not TOO big of a deal because Adam is 7-1-1 and essentially has already locked up a playoff spot.

At least for the next month or so this is NOT the same team that has paced the league in scoring through 9 weeks. Adam has an easy matchup this week vs Paul but has 3 solid opponents down the stretch. Right now Adam is crossing his fingers and hoping he can hang on to a 1st round BYE. Also worth noting is that Adam has had BY FAR the easiest schedule in the league this year. Teams are averaging just 104 points a week vs Adam... the next lowest average points against is 114 against. That's a big gap.

5. Boston Patriots

It's pretty amazing how well this team is performing despite 0 trades and losing both Cobb and Wayne for the season. With the arrow pointing straight up for CJ?K AND Pierre Thomas (Sproles concussion), Mr. B should be able to stay competitive. However, no matter how good this team looks on paper... they may not have a chance to compete in the playoffs. Mr. B needs at least 2 more wins between matchups vs Me, Adam, Kait and Abe. Playoff bubble city. The high point total will likely push Mr. B into the playoffs but it's not a given. Mr. B has no chance for a 1st round bye. Also, I feel like Antonio Brown doesnt get the love he deserves. He's leading the league in receptions, on pace for 120. Must be elite.

6. The Godfather

Abe may be sporting the worst record in the league at 2-7 but his starting lineup is better than most in our league. Seriously. Gio Bernard is only going to get better, and Keenan Allen is for sure a top 15 WR the rest of the way. He's been excellent since he became a starter in SD. Another reason why I really like Abe's team for the stretch run is the emergence of Aaron Dobson as the go-to X receiver for Tom Brady. Dobson is going to be seeing a lot of 1 on 1 coverage and when Brady is the QB in that sort of situation... it can lead to big plays. This past week Dobson ended up with a line 5/130/2.

Abe has 2 really good chances to crush playoff dreams. This week vs the rental guys and the last week of the season vs the Boston Patriots. Even though this year has been a failure for Abe, he'll feel a lot better about it if he can crush these 2 team's dreams.

7. Victorious Secret 

Week 9 lineup mistakes by Kait:

-Had Cutler in at QB. He's been out with an injury.
-Played Vincent Brown and Tashard choice over CJ Spiller and Danny Woodhead
-Played the Green Bay Defense which was projected for 4 points and ended up scoring 3.

That being said, she still would have gotten crushed had she had her optimal lineup in. Percy Harvin continues to be a tease, and it seems like Harry Douglas has come back down to earth after a monstrous 3 week run where he averaged 22 points. Trent Richardson has been more than a disappointment... you cant count on him for any value in the remaining weeks. The positive news here comes out of New England... Gronk is back to being a major difference maker and Stevan Ridley is looking great. At 5-4 Kait is barely hanging on to a playoff spot... in fact shes in pretty bad shape moving forward. She doesnt have an advantage in total points, which means she needs at least 2 more wins to make the playoffs. Over the past month Kait is only averaging 94 points per week. Down the stretch she has to play Angry Pirates, Tahiti Loungers, Boston Patriots, and A Pinch Better.

8. Angry Pirates 

Chump Bunny lost to me this week in large part due to Darren Sproles exiting the game early after earning just 1 fantasy point. As I've said before... C Bell needs to be firing on all cylinders if he wants to win games. At 3-6 these Pirates need to win out and get help. An easy schedule down the stretch makes this possible, but obviously not likely.  This week Gordon is on bye and Campbell doesn't have a viable replacement for Sproles so we are likely a week away from writing the eulogy on the 2013 Angry Pirates.

Re-defining "Stanley Cup Hangover"-

Since the 2011 Championship victory, the Angry Pirates are 5-19 and averaging 97 points a week. Think about that for a minute. 5-19.

9. the rental guys

Dan's opponents averaged just under 90 points a game vs him during his 3 game win streak. This past week, however, Dan played an actual worthy opponent and again lost, bringing his overall record to 4-5.

The good- Zac Stacy is a beast, Cecil Shorts will benefit from no Blackmon, Leveon Bell is a work horse.

The bad- James Jones is meh without Rodgers. Jarret Boykin is useless without Rodgers. Jordan Cameron has come back to earth and is just a middling TE1 now. Carolina backfield is crowded. MJD still plays for the Jags.

You get my point. Things are trending in the wrong direction here. Dan most likely needs 3 wins to sneak in to the playoffs...his next 3 matchups are vs Abe, Bill, and Jenna so I REALLY don't see how this team has a chance to get in. Even 2009 Dan luck wouldnt be enough this year.

10. Comeback Story-

This team is so confusing. The 159 point beatdown Donny laid on Abe this week was a higher point total than his previous 2 week point totals combined. Brady had a day, the connection to Amendola was actually working. T Gonz and Alfred Morris both finally did something, and Mike James had an unbelievable game where he scored 27 points. ONe of my favorite players on this team. Terrance Williams, didnt even really contribute.

Anyway, at least we saw the Donny's team has the ability to beat anyone if you catch him on the wrong week. We've seen this team perform in spurts... the only meaningful matchup Donny has left is vs. Bill this week, if he can get another win here that's a nice silver lining for comeback story.

11. A Pinch Better-

This is what happens when you invest so much into injury prone running backs. This was a HORRIBLE time for Sean to have his worst week in League history.

Foster- 0 points. Left after the first drive. Dealing with at least 3 injuries.
Tate- 9 points on the bench. He has like 4 cracked ribs and can barely move right now.
DMC- 2 points. Left with another hamstring injury in the same place as he had before.
Murray- 10 points. Murray only had FOUR CARRIES in this game. He's good but the Cowboys don't feed him like they should. And even if they did, he's frail.

-Every week Sean faces a massive disadvantage at TE. Starting Dallas Clark is embarrassing.

-Sean has to win at least 3 of his 4 remaining matchups. Jenna is on tap this week (Cowboys on Sunday Night Football in the dome. Shoot out City) Then Campbell. Then Me. Then Kait.

12. A1 Providers 

Yikes. Paul is averaging just 95 points over the past month, and would need to win out to even have a prayer of making the playoffs. Adam should end those dreams this week in AC on Paul's Bachelor party. If for some wild reason Paul wins, he still has to beat Jenna, Bill and Abe. Not happening. The best thing Paul can do now is concentrate on Week 12 when he plays Bill. If he can eliminate Bill from the playoffs with a win in the 2nd to last week, the season wont be lost completely.

Outside of Marshall, Ellington and Gore this team is pretty disgusting. (Also interesting to note all 3 of those players were acquired in trade with me. Damnit.)

And lastly here are my updated Projected Final Standings:

1. Jenna (11-1-1)
2. James (11-2)
3. Adam (9-3-1)
4. Bill (8-5)
5. Kait (7-6) 
6. Mr B. (6-7)

7. Sean (6-7)
8. Dan (5-8)
9. Abe (4-9) 
10. Campbell (4-9)
11. Paul (3-10)
12. Donny (3-10)